Chinchy Horses
© 2005-08, Keith Hosman - All Rights Reserved

Have you ever seen a film that took place in a prison in which the prisoners didn't have some sort of secret world? Every prison film details the secret life the population carries on, the guards seemingly oblivious. They've got a whole underground railroad thing happening with goods and services flowing back and forth, even their own currency. Isn't it always cigarettes? The underlying current making this all possible, of course, is their secret pipeline of communication, secret signals, informants and couriers, their own unique language. One tap of a tin can means the guard is coming, that sort of thing. The warden locks up for the night, hands the keys to his next-in-charge and goes home to the wife and kids. Meanwhile, prisoners 001 and 3924 are hatching some evil scheme to heist egg noodles from the kitchen.

And if your horse is stabled with one or more equine friend, he's doing the same. Keeping him in solitary has it's own issues. Cribbing and weaving come to mind. The very moment your car pulls out of the drive they get down to concocting their mischief. Maybe it's a feed room break in, maybe they're gonna kick a door in, maybe somebody's getting roughed up. One thing is absolutely certain, the older, more experienced horses are spending their evening counseling the others on ways to drive us nuts. Move right before they put their foot in the stirrup. I've got five horses and I know without a doubt that they get together and pass along what works, what doesn't, and how to make me crazy.

It certainly doesn't take them long to learn that a saddle on their backs means they're getting put to work pretty quick, so it's no wonder that so many bad habits develop along this point. They weren't born yesterday: You approaching with a smile on your face, a saddle in one hand and "Riding for Dummies" in the other can only mean one thing: Work. It's no wonder they begin channeling the advice they've heard from their buddies: "Dance around," "Act like you're gonna bite," "Don't let him put the bit in your mouth. You get a bit in your mouth and you're done for." And, they're always trying something new, aren't they? I'd finally worked one of my mares through – what I thought was every bad habit at saddling time – only to have her lay down on me. (I cured this by being the ready the next time: The moment her legs began to buckle I screamed like a stuck pig and got her moving... anywhere. Trust me, she didn't go back and tell the others to try laying down.)

You can only deal with these crazy things they try in one way – and that's by keeping your sense of humor. They're going to keep coming like the tides – and the moment you lose your temper, they've got ya. Know why? Because your horse is dancing around, saying to himself "This is the part where he gets nuts everyday and smacks me." You lose your temper, smack the horse and prove him right. Every day. You do get the saddle on, the bit in his mouth – but each time it gets more difficult. Like the boy with his finger in the dike, new holes keep popping up.

Young horses, the ones being saddled for nearly the first time, pull garbage because they're young horses being saddled for the first time. Experienced horses are a pain at saddling time because they have owners who lose their tempers and make it a bigger deal than it is, owners who usually do nothing to dissuade the practice other than getting pissed. The ol "curse the darkness, rather than light a candle" school of training.

When we say "cinchy horse" what we're referring to is a horse that pins his ears, dances around or otherwise flips us the angry bird when we go to strap on the saddle. Every horse on the planet is going to try this at least once. Even the coolest horse is going to have a bad day and sooner or later react by grimacing at best, kicking or biting at worst, as the saddle tightens. It's natural and to be expected and not to be tolerated. You don't feel like going to work each and every day, do you? Does that give you license to kick your boss? Duh, no. As long as your horse has no girth sores or "hidden under the skin sore spots," he's gonna have to buck up, pardon the pun. Not dealing with this when they try it the first time leads to the same stunt being tried the next day. (And again, losing your temper and strapping them up anyway, without actually dissuading this bad habit, may also cause them to continue the behavior.)

Smacking the horse has actually worked for people. I'm not saying it doesn't or hasn't. The problem is, it doesn't work for me. I just don't have the timing it takes and only seem to make matters go from bad to worse. It's tough walking the fine line between punishment and abuse (in the horse's mind at least), you know?

I need a way to motivate my horse to stand politely, a method that doesn't cause him to hate or fear me. Something simple, fool proof and that doesn't make me the bad guy.

Well, I actually two somethings for you. First, if your horse wants to dance about as you tack up, then be ready the next time. Be ready to take the time it takes to fix this. You only think you're going to be riding the trail five minutes from now. The thousand pound animal you'd like to ride is telling you that he'd rather work on improving his ground manners. That's what you'll do: You'll begin seeing the dancing as "code" for "I'd like to improve my leading." Rather than actually tying your horse up, drape the lead line around the post and be ready. (I'm sure I don't have to tell you to make the correction as close to the time of the actual infraction as possible in order to make the connection in their brain.) The very moment you even think the horse is thinking of beginning his dance, take up the lead line and begin practicing your ground control. For the next ten minutes, ask the horse to back up or disengage his hips (move his head toward his hips), side pass his shoulders... anything you can think of. Just keep the horse moving and improving. Give him a chance to stand and – when he blows it – put him back to work. Again and again until he realizes that it's easier to stand and be saddled than to "have a dance with you." (If he makes a move that you don't know how to read, that is you don't know if he actually dissed you, assume he did. That's the beauty of this versus smacking, it's thought-free and you can't lose.)

The fix for a horse that pins its ears is the same we'd use for a biter: We love our enemy because we know it kills 'em. Remember, were we to react by losing our temper, we're a) reacting as opposed to being proactive and b) telling the horse that he was right, we do start acting nuts every day at this time; he's right to be agitated when he sees a saddle. Instead, we need to begin looking forward to our horse "acting up" because it's an excuse to train. I promise that if you begin looking forward to your horse's shenanigans, as if they're Easter eggs and he's begging to practice his ground manners, you'll shortly find that your horse will just stand there, doing his level best to blend into the background.

What you'll do is simply this: Put your horse in a position that has – till now – caused him to pin an ear or otherwise grow agitated. Beg him, you want this. Be on the lookout and the moment you even think he's stiffened or given you the evil eye, take his muzzle between your two hands and rub it like Genie's lamp. You are the overbearing Aunt who comes to visit and hugs on you ad nauseum. (Hint on how to administer this fix: "Ad nauseum" is a Latin term for pushing something to the point of nausea.) She doesn't make you mad, you just tend to slink out of the room when you hear her pull up. The horse will pull his head away after a moment – you pull it back. See this as fun. Do this several times to make your point before releasing and going about your tack up. You'll need to repeat this process a few times and for perhaps a few days. Be on the lookout for the first time the horse begins to get agitated – but then suddenly thinks better of it. It's the funniest thing you're going to see for awhile.

No. The horse doesn't hold this against you. They do know the difference between affection and anger. By the contrary, establishing boundaries will improve your situation. (It's a whole "prey-animal-hierarchical thing." I'm sure you get the idea.)

And so that's all there is to it. We haven't made an issue out of anything. We didn't make matters worse. We didn't raise our blood pressure. Instead we dealt with the issue. We improved our training and the standing we have with our horse. And, we got to be little devils for a little while, which is always fun.

This simple method works by killing them with kindness. What's he gonna do? Go back and tell the other horses "I bit him 'cause he hugged on me?"

About the author: Keith Hosman: If your horse won't speed up, slow down, stop or turn, you missed the latest training methods from Josh and John Lyons. Have you lost your confidence? Want a horse to brag about? Invest one weekend to make big changes with John Lyons Certified Trainer Keith Hosman. Keith is based near San Antonio, TX and is available for clinics, private sessions and training. He frequently conducts clinics and demonstrations — with an event coming soon to a town near you. For more horse training articles, or to attend a clinic or find a John Lyons trainer living in your area, visit www.horsemanship101.com  now.

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